Movies: Never Back Down

Off the top of your head, do you know any movies that are set and shot in Orlando, Florida? Well, if you couldn't name one, now you can add teeny-bopper MMA flick "Never Back Down" to your list:



Like oh-so-many action flicks, "Never Back Down" explores the dark world of Orlando's underground high school fight clubs. From that bedrock premise comes a run-time filled with the kind of high-octane excitement that only comes from "Cry_Wolf" director Jeff Wadlow. Every punch, kick, and body slam explodes off the screen!...

All kidding aside, "Never Back Down" does deliver a cascade of unintentionally hilarious moments, especially if you know anything about Orlando or mixed martial arts. The story is crazy enough: troubled teen Jake Tyler (Sean Faris) is having problems at his new school, and he gets sucked into a series of student-organized fights. Jake's completely untrained at the start of the movie, so he seeks the help of Jean Roqua (played by Djimon Hounsou), a local MMA guru.

If you ever wanted to see what a bad director can do to a good actor, just watch the scene where Roqua relays his tragic backstory - the faux intensity Hounsou displays would be ridiculous coming from any actor, but it's especially terrible considering Hounsou is a two-time Oscar nominee. Remember: Pat Morita had essentially the same role in "The Karate Kid," but he pulled it off in a much more entertaining fashion.

The scenes of Orlando high school life are worth the price of admission alone. For some reason, everyone wears swim trunks and bikinis everywhere - as if Orlando were somehow close to the ocean. All the kids except the main character live in palatial homes. Wadlow was obviously trying to capture the feel of Miami without actually having to film in Miami.

But the fights...oh, the fights. First of all, "Never Back Down" gives you a sterilized, Hollywood version of MMA where no one ever gets bloody, even when they're fighting in a parking lot or out on the street. There's no ring doctors or cut men, mind you. It's like seeing a car chase where an Aston Martin slams into a guard rail at 90 mph but only gets a few scratches.

The movie also trivializes the kind of experience necessary to win an MMA match. It's about as egregious as "The Karate Kid," where Daniel learns enough in two months to defeat a two-time karate champion. Unless you're a robot that can train day and night, there's just no way to get that good that fast.

To be fair, it's a better movie than "Never Surrender," if only because Jake has the audience's sympathy, at least initially. Just save a few laughs for the final minute of the movie, where logic gets tossed out of the window and everyone lives happily ever after.

Rating: 3/10

Links: Tactical Testing & Evaluation

TT&E has a pretty generic name for their website, but don't let that throw you off. Kelly, Josh, and Heather seem like nice folks, and their site has a ton of reviews of tactical gear.

It doesn't really get any more straightforward than TT&E. No BS, no sales pitch, just a detailed overview of various types of gun-related gear from people who have been there and done that. Here's a sample review video showing all the various MAGLULA loaders (the AR loader is extremely handy BTW):



Neat site, and I wish them the best of luck.

Music: Bohemian Like You

If there was some award for consistently getting your songs in the background of teenager-oriented media, the Dandy Warhols would probably win it. Their stuff has been played in everything from "Veronica Mars" to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" - whenever you need mid-tempo alternative rock, you can usually count on a Warhols song to pull you through to the next scene (or, in some cases, serve as your opening theme):



This clip of a rainy live performance of "Bohemian Like You" from Pinkpop 2003 shows off some of the Dandy Warhols' willingness to experiment with instrumentation. It gives them a bit more of a complex sound than most similar groups. Between keyboardist Zia McCabe's organ-flavored tones and the freaking trumpet right in the foreground, you can tell this isn't just another garage band:



"Bohemian Like You" is one of those singles that you can really dance to. The song also has a neat music video that I won't post here, because it's NSFW.

Sports: On Sportsmanship

Brock Lesnar is the current UFC heavyweight champion, and he at least looks the part - the guy is massive, dwarfing the other heavyweights. Add in extensive college wrestling experience (Lesnar was an NCAA Division I champion), a crash course in fighting from Minnesota Martial Arts Academy, and a chip on his shoulder, and you get somebody who can pulverize:



But the actual fight with Frank Mir at UFC 100 was really only half the story. The other half was Lesnar's conduct after the fight, where he displayed antics seemingly carried over from the WWE. In a sport where 99% of the fighters shake hands or even hug each other at the end of bouts, it's disconcerting to see someone literally taunt an opponent that he had just beaten.

The double middle fingers to the crowd and the crude reference to having sex with his wife were sort of superfluous at that point; the damage was done. But, I'll give Brock credit - he spoke out in a public apology that actually appeared to be genuine. Sort of like that hypercompetitive jock in high school who can't turn it off when the bell rings:

News: It's Confirmation Time!

According to Wikipedia, it's only during the 20th century that Senate confirmation of Supreme Court Justices became a huge political battleground. That may or may not be true (I can't fathom how the times before the American Civil War were any less contentious than current Washington politics), but it is true that public nomination hearings and the resulting media circus are a very modern phenomenon. With YouTube and 24/7 cable news coverage, you can now literally hear and see every potentially controversial thing a nominee has ever said or done.



Judge Sonia Sotomayor of the Second Circuit is the latest candidate to be put through the wringer, and I sincerely hope that her confirmation is based solely on her ability and competence as a judge, not her video rental records or dubious allegations from former colleagues. Americans have an incredible advantage over most citizens in this respect, since you can literally search all the opinions Judge Sotomayor has ever written or concurred with in a 30 second search on Westlaw.

As for Sotomayor herself, she's well-qualified in a boring, "let's make sure every Supreme Court Justice is an Ivy League-educated Court of Appeals judge" way. If you really want the kind of "diversity" that matters in a legal sense, why not pick a well-regarded state Supreme Court justice?

Tech: 1 vs. 100

If you're an Xbox Live Gold member and you have a knack for trivia, you should probably try out the "1 vs. 100" beta that's currently going on:



I've never seen the game show (the U.S. version is hosted by Bob Saget, incidentally), but the premise of "1 vs. 100" is simple - a contestant (the One) and a group of 100 people (the Mob) answer various trivia questions. If a Mob member answers incorrectly, he or she is knocked out for the rest of the game. If the One answers incorrectly, the game ends and the Mob members split the winnings.

The One thus tries to outlast the Mob. At the beginning, it's easy to knock out at least a few Mob members (out of 100 people, there are going to be a few folks who don't know the sixth planet from the sun), but as the game wears on, the only people left in the Mob will be trivia mavens. And so, after each question, the One is invited to either take the money and walk, or push on further. Eliminating everyone is extremely difficult, but if the One can do it, a huge prize awaits.

The Xbox beta is free to play, and pits you against literally thousands of other players. While there aren't any prizes in most sessions, once a week the best "1 vs. 100" players on Xbox Live are selected to participate in a game where they can win Xbox Live Marketplace points (which can be used to buy games and movies). Every correct answer also counts as a sweepstakes entry towards real world stuff. And even without prizes, it's fun to play with your friends.

Food: Bagels &...

You know that South Florida has a ton of awesome delis when a good restaurant like "Bagels &..." can only manage two out of four stars here at Shangrila Towers.

It's an unassuming, family-owned deli nestled in a cherry location - smack in the middle of several Lake Worth suburban developments. The Sapersteins have been in the bialy and bagel baking business for decades, and it's almost like a little slice of Long Island has been transplanted to West Palm Beach.

The breakfast here is an exceptional value, with the prices held in check partly due to the fact that many of the Jewish retirees who frequent Bagels &... are on a fixed income. How else do you explain the ability to get two eggs, a bowl of grits, a bagel, and coffee for $3.79? Even adding in the tip, you're still competitive with the fast food joints' breakfast combos. And of course, the food at Bagels &... is much, much better.

The place can get crowded on weekends, especially when middle class families start showing up for breakfast. If there's one knock against Bagels &..., it'd be that their lunch and dinner offerings aren't as strong as their breakfast, especially when measured up against other Jewish delis in the area. But you probably can't find a better bialy for twenty miles.

2/4 stars

Guns: Making the Holster

To be honest, when I first started shopping for a custom holster for my CZ-75B, I was shocked at how much bespoke holsters cost and how long it took for one to be made. It's just a piece of leather, right? Why do you have to spend $80 and wait two months to get one that fits your gun exactly?

But making a holster isn't a simple job. There's a lot of work involved:



I do realize there are plenty of people who can't afford to spend that much money on a holster. My advice? If you can't drop the cash on a nice holster, at least get a sturdy, stiff belt (you can find purpose-made leather gunbelts, but a good stiff tool belt or rigger's belt will be cheaper and will work about as well). Methinks it's better to have a cheap holster on a good belt than vice versa.

TV: Inspector Gadget

Have you ever revisited something that you loved in childhood only to discover that, without the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, it doesn't hold up that well? I found this was the case with "Inspector Gadget," a cartoon series created by Andy Heyward, Jean Chalopin, and Bruno Bianchi (who also helped direct the first season):



For people who didn't grow up in the 1980s, "Inspector Gadget" followed a bumbling, overconfident police inspector with cartoony cybernetic enhancements. Each episode, Inspector Gadget foiled the plans of MAD, an evil organization headed by the mysterious Dr. Claw. Since Gadget was essentially incompetent, he was helped surreptitiously by his young niece Penny and her super-intelligent, semi-anthropomorphic dog Brain.

The first thing that jumps out when you watch the show as an adult is how brutally formulaic it is. Every episode has the same story - Gadget (voiced by Don Adams) gets an assignment, Gadget meets the villains (whom he invariably thinks are the good guys), the villains try to off Gadget, and then Penny and Brain find a way to save the day without anyone knowing.

There are still genuine moments of slapstick bliss, if you look for them. Most of these involve Gadget's gadgets, which malfunction at inopportune times. Seeing Gadget, after falling off a cliff, call forth a parachute - "Go go gadget parachute!" - only to have a flower pot pop out of his hat is pretty funny, in a Theatre of the Absurd kind of way.

So maybe I'm being a little harsh on "Inspector Gadget." What's funny and comprehensible for a kid (broad humor, easily digestable plots) usually isn't appropriate for adults. I appreciate it when people try to make work that appeals to all age groups (Pixar's "The Incredibles" being the best example, I think), but there's something to be said for a world in which only kids can inhabit, a work that can only be fully appreciated when you're young.

Miscellany: A Novel Approach to Bar Preparation

Studying for the bar exam is simultaneously one of the most stressful and tedious things I've ever experienced: stressful because your ability to earn a livelihood hinges on the result of a single, lengthy exam, and tedious because the typical bar exam covers a huge amount of material that must be reviewed over a long period of time.

I started out like most people, going over outlines, doing practice questions, and reviewing law school textbooks. Ulgh.

Eventually, I decided to get creative. Inspired by books like "Algebra the Easy Way" (it introduces math problems in the form of an extended fantasy narrative), I'm now writing short stories that contain various points of law embedded in a memorable (hopefully) story. I'm not sure how effective it'll be as a learning aid, but at least it's less tedious than poring over outlines over and over again.

Movies: Public Enemies

Michael Mann's latest crime flick, "Public Enemies," explores the life of John Dillinger, one of America's most notorious bank robbers:



Essentially, it's an undercooked Depression-era "Heat," complete with another big star pairing - Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. Unlike its predecessor, "Public Enemies" doesn't devote much screen time to the character on the right side of the law (FBI agent Melvin Purvis, played by Bale) so the cat-and-mouse game doesn't ever become interesting.

Mann delivers plenty of his trademark shootouts, a bit of romance in the form of love interest Billie Frechette (Marion Cotillard), and enough period touches to evoke the 1930s. But the underlying problem remains: this is a fictionalized version of a true story. Since we all know how the story ends, it's hard for the movie to remain compelling throughout its nearly 2-1/2 hour runtime.

Rating: 6/10

For gun aficionados, though, there's a lot of interesting firearms used by the main characters. In particular, Dillinger sports a Pocket Hammerless (which is historically accurate) and several Thompson SMGs.

Sports: Gritty Instead of Pretty

I think it can be hazardous to make comparisons between athletes in different sports. Are the trials of a Michael Phelps different from a Michael Jordan? Does a Joe Montana have any idea what a Joe DiMaggio goes through?

That being said, when I was watching the 2009 Wimbledon men's final, the whole affair felt more like a heavyweight title bout than a tennis match. The two combatants, Roger Federer and Andy Roddick, exchanged serves like weary prizefighters. Each waited for the other to fold. Even after four hours of play on a sunny London day, both men continued to throw down 125+ mph bombs that kicked up the chalk on the dusty lawn of Centre Court. It looked like it might go on forever, but in the end it was Roger Federer who was left standing with a record-breaking 15th Grand Slam title.

If you tuned in only during the middle of the first four sets, you might be surprised to learn that Federer won. He was, after all, unable to muster any impossible-looking shots, unable to summon the picturesque strokes that drive sports writers to hyperbole. In fact, at times Roger looked as helpless to return Roddick's fearsome serves as a spectator watching from the stands. Roddick's made drastic improvements to his game this year - he hired coach Larry Stefanki, slimmed down his frame, and learned to volley more comfortably. He hurried Federer from the baseline, he broke Federer's serve twice, and Roddick's serve was unbreakable for more than four hours.



In tennis, though, it's not who hits first but who hits last. Federer had a little more gas in the tank, and after he saved two break points at 8-8 in the final set, the strategy began to emerge: hold on to the serve at all costs, and wait for Roddick's body and technique to crumble. It finally happened in the 30th game:



In that final set, Federer embraced the safe, passive baselining that he usually abhors, wearing Roddick down by forcing him to hit more and more shots. We often hear about players giving everything they have in order to win, but Federer made Roddick give everything he had in order to lose. It was not a stylish strategy, not even a brave strategy. But it worked.

Links: Giant Bomb

Websites about video games are a dime a dozen, but perhaps none have the pedigree of Giant Bomb. That's because it was created by Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis, two former editors from the most popular gaming site on the Web, GameSpot. Gerstmann was fired from GameSpot under questionable circumstances; several prominent GameSpot editors like Brad Shoemaker and Vinny Caravella soon left the company to work on Giant Bomb.

Their experience gives Giant Bomb a professional feel, and the site features excellent video features, well-written game reviews, and a large user-editable game database. My favorite video series is "This Ain't No Game" (TANG), which chronicles and lampoons game-to-movie adaptations.

Guns: The Denim Dilemma

When you think about it, bullets are a very primitive way to stop an attacker. That's both a good thing and a bad thing; good because they're simpler and more reliable than other weapons, bad because relatively simple measures will also impede a bullet, especially a low velocity handgun bullet.

Take hollowpoint handgun bullets, for instance. Most people (even non-shooters) know that hollowpoints are designed to expand inside an attacker's body in order to damage more tissue. But early hollowpoints were plugged up by clothing (say, thick denim jeans or winter jackets), preventing them from expanding and reducing their effectiveness.

The bullet manufacturers, thankfully, have not been asleep at the wheel. In fact, the resurgence of the Second Amendment right to defense and state-level concealed carry laws have made it profitable to market hollowpoints especially designed to expand even when plugged up by clothing. The Hornady "Critical Defense" line is one of those newer designs:



Okay, so the commercial is faintly ridiculous, and the idea is not exactly novel (Corbon's popular "Pow'R Ball" line of hollowpoints uses a similar plugged-up cavity), but performance trumps originality when it comes to self-defense ammo. The Hornady line seems to expand adequately, so look for it (and other reputable self-defense ammo) on store shelves to help solve the denim dilemma.

Books: Dover Thrift Editions

This is sort of a unique entry in the "Books" category of Shangrila Towers, since I'm not referring to any particular title here. Instead, I'm featuring Dover Publications' "Thrift Editions" - a line of inexpensive paperbacks intended for people who might want a copy of an important literary work, but can't afford a fancier edition.

It's a good concept (especially for ensuring that every student in a classroom has a particular book), helped along by striking cover designs and interesting physical dimensions. Unlike the majority of mass-market paperbacks, the Thrift Editions are typically published in a thin 5-3/16" x 8-1/4" format. The prices are gradually creeping up, though - you used to be able to buy most of the books for one dollar or less, but nowadays the prices for the Thrift Editions are comparable to the book lines published by the brick-and-mortar stores.

I like the whole idea of a low cost paperback; it's the communication of information from one generation to the next, unfettered by pixels or processors, in a very small physical space. The Dover Thrift Editions are books for your bomb shelter, printed material that can be consumed even in the worst of times. If you're an avid reader, it's a comforting thought.