Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tech: XBLA Hall of Shame

In past posts, I've highlighted some of the best games for Microsoft's Xbox Live Arcade service. Today, though we're going to look at a few of the worst:

Beat'n Groovy



There are some semi-competent music games out there on XBLA ("Boom Boom Rocket," "Go! Go! Break Steady"), but "Beat'n Groovy" isn't even passable. That's strange considering this is a product of Konami's hallowed Bemani line of rhythm games, but the truth hurts sometimes. With a mediocre selection of 9 songs, subpar input feedback (it's hard to tell when you're hitting notes on the beat), and iffy production values, this title is a black mark on Konami's music game resume.

Yaris

Microsoft is no stranger to "advergaming" (remember Sneak King and Big Bumpin'?), and there is even a decent advergaming title on XBLA (Doritos Dash of Destruction). All of those facts, however, do nothing to cushion the mighty blow of "Yaris," the worst XBLA game ever:



Yaris is actually the only game to be removed entirely from the XBLA. Poor, PSX-level graphics and sound, awful controls, and just fundamentally boring gameplay make Yaris a bad racing game. The real kicker? Even though the game was free to download, it still wasn't worth the time and HD space.

Yie Ar Kung Fu



I actually played a lot of Yie Ar Kung Fu when I was a kid, but it's preposterous to have this game stand alone as a $5 title. The gameplay is a throwback to much earlier times - there's no versus mode, there's no real strategy besides "get close and pummel the AI to death," and it just doesn't hold up when compared with other arcade classics.

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